i mean nothing to him, do i?

i feel dumb, dull and empty. why do i keep on trusting everyone? he doesn't understand how much he means to me.
he doesn't understand how much i want to be closer to him. he doesn't even know that i love him,
im way, way too scared to tell him. two days ago i promised myself to leave him forever if he doesn't write to me.
of course i knew im too weak to do that. he doesn't care about me, i should give up already but i can't. i can only cry but can't leave him. god knows i love him too much

i sometimes wish i was a kitten. his kitten. he loves cats, so maybe he'd love me as well.
i'd lay on his lap or in his hands or just near him whenever i had a chance to. maybe he'd pet
me as well. i wouldn't ask for anything else.

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